Things We’ve Learned on our Vacation from Being Homeless…
Imagine that your car starts shaking violently as you drive down the expressway…Pull over and have your travel companions take a look. Sure, it’s great that you’ve been checking the tire pressure along the way, but you also should have been monitoring the SURFACE of the tires as well. If they have become so bald that the metal cord is visible, you need new ones…and you should have noticed a long time ago.
If the nice old gentleman who has been hired to bark for an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet on Duval Street invites you to take a look at the buffet before you commit to it, by all means, take him up on his offer. If you look at the buffet and your first response is: “wow, this looks disgusting,” you shouldn’t eat there.
When signing up to take a boat ride in search of wild dolphins, the most important issue is not whether or not you will actually get to see dolphins, but rather: will the captain of the ship screech at the top of her lungs (in an attempt to mimic the sound a dolphin makes???) every single time a dolphin breeches the surface?
The buskers who work in Mallory Square are intensely desperate people. They will chase you down and yell at the top of their lungs until you fork over a couple bucks. (They will also yell if you don’t stand close enough to their circle, if you stand too close, if you don’t cheer loud enough or if you cheer at the wrong time…)
If you DO decide to eat at aforementioned buffet (even though it costs $22) and you opt to sit outside because the inside of the restaurant stinks, you’ve made a huge mistake.
Imagine that your car starts shaking violently as you drive down the expressway…Pull over and have your travel companions take a look. Sure, it’s great that you’ve been checking the tire pressure along the way, but you also should have been monitoring the SURFACE of the tires as well. If they have become so bald that the metal cord is visible, you need new ones…and you should have noticed a long time ago.
If the nice old gentleman who has been hired to bark for an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet on Duval Street invites you to take a look at the buffet before you commit to it, by all means, take him up on his offer. If you look at the buffet and your first response is: “wow, this looks disgusting,” you shouldn’t eat there.
When signing up to take a boat ride in search of wild dolphins, the most important issue is not whether or not you will actually get to see dolphins, but rather: will the captain of the ship screech at the top of her lungs (in an attempt to mimic the sound a dolphin makes???) every single time a dolphin breeches the surface?
The buskers who work in Mallory Square are intensely desperate people. They will chase you down and yell at the top of their lungs until you fork over a couple bucks. (They will also yell if you don’t stand close enough to their circle, if you stand too close, if you don’t cheer loud enough or if you cheer at the wrong time…)
If you DO decide to eat at aforementioned buffet (even though it costs $22) and you opt to sit outside because the inside of the restaurant stinks, you’ve made a huge mistake.
Say you are videotaping the sights and sounds of Mallory Square, not focusing on one particular act or performer. Your friends have all wandered off so you are just a guy-by-yourself-taping. You would expect the crazy busker who really only has 2 tricks to choose YOU to be his volunteer for the entire 20 minute show, right? (That's Andy doing the push-ups.)
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