How to Drop Everything: A Travel Guide by Kait & Andy

A Sad Day for Birds (and Kait and Andy)

2009-04-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

This story is not going to be easy to read, please avert your eyes if you have a soft spot for wild birds.
Please don't consider this a guide to anything. We don't recommend it.

Here we are at "the cabin." (It's not really a cabin, but that's what Andy calls it because its cozy and comfy and on a creek and in the middle of nowhere. It's actually the full-size house that I grew up in and where my parents live all the time so I don't think you can call it a cabin.)

We get up in the morning to find a bird sitting strangely still on the porch - where the crazy puppy has been bouncing around. I send Andy out to investigate. Yup, the bird is stuck AND "someone" has completely ripped off one of its wings. It's gruesome. So, I can remember vaguely the strategy of assembling a stretcher of sorts for wounded animals using a shoe box. I do that, throwing a bunch of leaves and sticks and dirt inside to make it comfortable. With big snow gloves on Andy forces the one-winged bird into the bed we made for it. It makes an effort with it's single wing, but really can't move much at all.

The problem is we don't really know what we're supposed to do next. It's guts are hanging out, but somehow it is still breathing. If we take it to the vet, they're gonna think we're ridiculous (because they won't be able to save it) and that we're 12 (26 year olds don't usually spend a lot of time saving mangled birds). So, we go looking for worms. That's what birds eat, right? We dig a lot of holes before we actually find any worms. My family has a few outdoor cats so naturally we're concerned about where we should leave our little ward while we ponder our next move (I'm really trying to resist calling my mom at work - that's what my sisters and I did back when the parakeet got out and was flying around the house with the cat chasing it). We settle on a flower box outside an upstairs window - that's way too high for any cats to get to it. It's safe in the little hospital we've created but we just don't know what to do next. We need to help end its suffering. Andy asks if we have a bb gun. Um, no.
Then, the unbelievable happens - the bird makes a leap of faith - and finds none. Somehow it used its one wing to get out of the box, out of the flower box and fall to the ground. There's no helping it. We can only hope it hopped its little self under some bushes to hide from the many predators.
We're sorry we aren't better at saving birds.

Hey, its been 2 months and we're still on the road!!

2009-04-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's right - Andy played Saginaw Valley State University - they were so excited they were tearin' up the place!

Did you know the Lincoln Park Zoo is FREE?! And when its cold the giraffes hate it just as much as we do...

Booze WAREHOUSE! We heart Chicago (and they're BYOB liquor policies - WHAAAT?!)

love, K & A

ANNOUNCEMENT! ANNOUNCEMENT!

2009-03-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

Guess what, dudes?! K & A have a store on Etsy now! You should go there!!!!

http://KandATravelingCircus.etsy.com

love, kait and andy

Here it is: Our interpretation of "Cheeseburger in Paradise"! Yay!

2009-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Did you know Indiana has wineries?

2009-03-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

I KNOW, we didn't either, we went to one and look how surprised we are! There are actually 7 and if you go to all of them you get a commemorative wine glass. (We're not doing that so if you are getting excited about the possibility of really cool souveniers you can forget it...)

We have been having some lovely family time (and lots of ice cream - that's one thing that doesn't last in a cooler so its an extra-special treat).

Here is a bit of wisdom we've gained in the past week...

If you are alone at someone else's house and they have a crazy tiny dog who always tries to run out the door - don't assume that it will be any different when you open the door.

If and when the dog goes bolting toward the busy road where drivers are doing more than 50, assume you will be chasing it for at least 20 minutes.

If you realize that you really should drive the car because who knows how many hours you're going to spend looking for the dog in the sprawling neighborhoods, be ABSOLUTELY certain the back hatch is latched before you peel onto the road (where drivers are doing more than 50) and the hatch flies open, letting many of your belongings spill onto the asphalt.

Finally, once you've had this experience and gained this important wisdom - do NOT let it happen again 2 days later with different dogs.

A gift on our one-month anniversary as adventurers: a visual aid!

2009-03-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

View Larger Map

Ok, in all seriousness...

2009-03-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about the awesomeness of today, no funny business:
1) Great visit with Kate in Atlanta.
2) She gets us on the road with delicious cups of coffee.
3) Stellar oldies station as we drive north out of Atlanta. (I get to sing along with Paul Simon, Aretha, the Temps, that guy who sings "Brandy)
4) We've heard about a Daylight Savings Time special Arby's is doing TODAY only and get free sandwiches, gasoline and bathrooms all in one stop!
5) First Spanish lesson! We've downloaded "Learning Spanish Like Crazy" - awesome, right? No, no hablo espanol. Si, yo camino todos los dias.
6) New playlist on the mp3 thing so we can sing songs like Hotel Yorba and Jailbreak at the top of our lungs.
7) Only $1.62 for gas!
8) Begin our one-act play created with the basis that all proper nouns are named after road signs we've seen along the way.
9) Russell Stover outlet!!! My absolute favorite brand of chocolate! We saw an outlet store a couple days ago and I was so bummed we didn't stop, so today - we stopped!

10) Nashville is in Central timezone so we get to go back an ho

ur when we get to Will's and Andy can stop freaking out about the time.
11) We get to see Will!

Things We've Learned...

2009-03-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Things We’ve Learned on our Vacation from Being Homeless…

Imagine that your car starts shaking violently as you drive down the expressway…Pull over and have your travel companions take a look. Sure, it’s great that you’ve been checking the tire pressure along the way, but you also should have been monitoring the SURFACE of the tires as well. If they have become so bald that the metal cord is visible, you need new ones…and you should have noticed a long time ago.

If the nice old gentleman who has been hired to bark for an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet on Duval Street invites you to take a look at the buffet before you commit to it, by all means, take him up on his offer. If you look at the buffet and your first response is: “wow, this looks disgusting,” you shouldn’t eat there.

When signing up to take a boat ride in search of wild dolphins, the most important issue is not whether or not you will actually get to see dolphins, but rather: will the captain of the ship screech at the top of her lungs (in an attempt to mimic the sound a dolphin makes???) every single time a dolphin breeches the surface?

The buskers who work in Mallory Square are intensely desperate people. They will chase you down and yell at the top of their lungs until you fork over a couple bucks. (They will also yell if you don’t stand close enough to their circle, if you stand too close, if you don’t cheer loud enough or if you cheer at the wrong time…)

If you DO decide to eat at aforementioned buffet (even though it costs $22) and you opt to sit outside because the inside of the restaurant stinks, you’ve made a huge mistake.

Say you are videotaping the sights and sounds of Mallory Square, not focusing on one particular act or performer. Your friends have all wandered off so you are just a guy-by-yourself-taping. You would expect the crazy busker who really only has 2 tricks to choose YOU to be his volunteer for the entire 20 minute show, right? (That's Andy doing the push-ups.)

Points of Interest II: Key West from the back of a Moped!

2009-02-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

Vacation From Being Homeless...

2009-02-27T07:10:00.000-08:00

Key West...taking a break from the grueling life on the road. Vacationing with Laura, Ryan, Maggie and Jason!

Points-of-Interest I: Avenue of the Giants!!!

2009-02-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

So, you've purchased a Car Top Carrier on craigslist!

2009-02-17T17:14:00.000-08:00

So, you’ve purchased a car top carrier (CTC) on craigslist! Congratulations, now let’s get started!
1) It will come with a lock already in place but you won’t have the correct key to open it. That’s fine, it opens on 2 other sides. Just make sure you have 2 people present at all times to open it.
2) Attempt to place the CTC on your car roof. It will not fit on the car rack attached to your roof, no problem – you only have 2 days before you go, so you will have to make it work. Have a person climb onto the roof and put all of their body weight on the CTC forcing it between the sides of the rack.
3) Step 2 will have caused the bottom half of the CTC to be disproportionately smaller than the top. You won’t think this is a problem until you are traveling on the expressway and can see all of you belongings peeking out the side.
4) At that time, pull over and secure ANOTHER lock and an old lanyard to each latch. (From now on, you will have to allow 30 minutes each time you need to open the CTC.)
5) Now you have the CTC the way you feel it should be secure. (you will know it is wrong if the carrier bounces up and down on your car once you hit 75 miles per hour)
6) If it is wrong do not panic
7) Pull over and tighten the straps (this will not do anything)
8) Start to panic a little bit
9) Observe the cars that are passing you as you travel 25 miles per hour, out of fear, in the right hand lane.
10) Once you have located a car with the same CTC as you have, follow them.
11) Observe how they have managed to do a better job of securing theirs than you have. This will be tricky. Feel free to follow as close as necessary in order to get a good look. Observation of all sides will be required. Important note: it is essential that you NEVER make eye contact with the driver of the other car (especially if there are children in the back seat).
12) If need be, feel free to follow that car till they reach their next rest stop. At that rest stop ask them how their CTC is so secure. (You will probably need to explain that this is the reason that you have been following them for the last 75 miles.)
13) Adjust to match theirs exactly.
14) As an additional precaution, purchase three ratchet straps and/or rope and run it over the CTC and through the back doors. (Don’t worry if you are unfamiliar with fastening a ratchet. When its sink or swim, you’ll figure it out.) Please see diagram A below.

DIAGRAM A:

Things We've Learned in the Past 5 Days

2009-02-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

No one EVER has need for a cartop carrier. If you have so much stuff that you think you need one – get rid of that stuff

Just because 4 other people ran out of gas yesterday, doesn’t make it ok for you to.

When driving between El Paso and San Antonio on I-10 – fill your tank as soon as you see a working gas station – turns out most gas stations along that route don’t actually carry gas.

When waiting for a tow truck to bring you gas, and they tell you that it will be 45 minutes, do not wait to relieve yourself 30 minutes into it. They may be a little early.

Texans use dogs to sniff for drugs and immigrants, Californians check your fruit.

Grossest Public Bathroom: the restaurant at the Quality Inn, El Paso, TX

Our favorite businesses we’ve seen in Austin:
Homeslice Pizza, Hey Cupcake! (a cupcake trailer), Caffeine Dealer

Before you travel in Texas, make certain you have an Obama bumper sticker and one that reads, “Choice on Earth.” Also, if you have a cardboard sign leftover from a carnival party you threw that reads, “Enjoy Your Journey,” make sure you display it in the window. You will have become accidental hippies.

Things We've Learned in the Past 24 Hours

2009-02-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

If you’ve never been able to leave on time – don’t think you magically will change that when it’s REALLY important.

Don’t assume that if some gives you a padlock and a key that they go together – you should test it first.

Steve Coulter is always right.

If every instinct is telling you not to go tonight, you shouldn’t go.

If you are homeless and someone offers for you to stay in their condo until the 14th, don’t leave on the 10th. You are homeless.

DO’S & DON’TS OF BUYING A CAR TOP CARRIER ON CRAIGSLIST:
Don’t

From indifference to dancing in the streets: My Obama Journey

2008-11-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

After taking two days to let the news sink, I am now ready to write about my experiences with the Obama campaign. Here are a few of the key moments:

2/09/08

Leading up to this day - I made a pledge to myself to become more politically active. To stand up for my rights, to fight the powers that be, to let my voice be heard, to......you get the point.
going into today I had know idea what a caucass was. I am still a little hazy on what happened that day. All I remeber is being in a church basement and watching as hundreds of people stood around, and tried to figure out where to go. Once we figured out where to go, we split into groups: Obabma supporters, clinton suporters, and other. I started out in other, but eventually found myself in the Obama camp. The reason for this was simply because his supporters seemed to be more knowledgable on the issues. I learned more from them. One man asked me what was important to me. I replied: "Getting the troops home." He explained to me Obama's exit strategy. This abundence of knowledge was refreshing to me. From that point on I was for Obama all the way.

9/11/08

I was working in Philedelphia on this day. I really wanted to get out of my
hotel room. One of the challenges of being a traveling comedian is figuring out how to spend your day. I decided to do the Philly tourist thing. While reading about our founding fathers at Independence Hall something struck me: This Country was founded on the ideals that Obama was running on. I was struck with this sudden urge to volunteer for Obama, and that is exactly what I did. I found a field office, went in, and volunteered my time. I mostly answered phones and performed data entry, but for the first time in a long time I felt like I was doing something important.

10/24/08 - 10/29/08

For a few days my wife and I camaigned in Michigan. We stayed with her family while canvassing in very rural parts of the state. This state has probably been the most effected by the economic policies of the last eight years. We talked to people from both extremes of the spectrum. One gentelman offered us the opportunity to make an argument for Obama to his loaded smith and wessin, one person told us that he would vote for whoever got him his job back, and a nice lady with a house full of babies explained that she was poor and that meant Obama. It was a mixed bag of responses. The trip filled me with the confidence that America was ready to do the right thing

11/04/08

election night!

I don't remember too much from this night. I do remeber that I was sucked into an impromptu street parade, hugged complete strangers, and went hoarse screaming "YES WE DID!"

The amount of raw joy that was in the air filled me with an undeniable sense of what, now president elect, Barack Obama, was promising from the beginning of his camaign: Hope for the futureof this great nation.

A Kenyan, 3 cops, A mean cab driver, and a tazer gun (A Minneapolis Tale)

2008-03-27T18:11:00.001-07:00

On a frigid Friday night in the more popular of the twin cities I found myself in the need of a cab. It was 1:01 in the morning, to be exact. I remember this, because, in Minneapolis the buses stop running at exactly 1am. We arrived just in time to watch the last bus of the night drive off. I was with my new friend, Edwin Okumbo.

We met earlier that night at the Acme comedy club. He was doing a guest set and I was the feature. He is good friends with the headliner from that week, Bill Santiago, who got him the set. They came up together in the San Francisco Comedy Scene. Edwin had just moved to Minneapolis to take a job as an editor of an African American Relations Journal for the city. He wanted to continue to pursue his first love, stand up comedy - and if you have an opportunity to play Acme, the only full time comedy club in town - you take it. Edwin's ethnicity happens to be Kenyan.

After the second show ended (they both went very well), Edwin and I decided to accompany each other home. We were both headed up town. Upon missing our bus, I flagged down a cab. The cab pulled over on the opposite side of the street from where we were standing. The driver waved us over. I ran around the cab and entered the rear right of the cab. Edwin slowly made his way into the left side of the cab. As Edwin entered the cab, the driver asked me where we were going. I told him that we will both get out at 36th and Hennepin. The driver responded with, "ok, here is my deal, Eight dollars for you and 12 dollars for your friend." Without giving any thought to the odd/racist terms, I foolishly agreed. As soon as Edwin was in the car, we took off. Immediately, Edwin felt uneasy. He asked me why the meeter was not running. I told him that the deal was eight for me and twelve for him. He responded with, "What! no no no. I want the meeter on." I asked the driver to turn the meeter on. the driver pulled the car over. I explained that we already agreed to a price. I requested that the terms be altered and that he turn the meeter on. The driver told us that we cannot change our minds we already agreed. After some argument Edwin said, "Fine just take us home." We gave the driver our allotted total. Then he turned to me and said, "This bullshit always happens to me. I can never get an honest cab in this town." We took off a second time. At this point I would like to mention that the race of the driver was Somalian

Edwin took out his notebook and asked the driver for his name. He then began to write the cab drivers license and company employee number. Once the driver realized that Edwin was forming a complaint, everything went down hill. He pulled the cab over for a second time. this time he took Edwin's twelve dollars out of his pocket. He said, "I will not be dictated to in my cab." He handed the money to Edwin and got out of the cab. He opened Edwin's door and asked him to leave. Edwin refused. At this point I am in shock. After about three minutes of heated argument between the driver and Edwin, the driver noticed that there was a police officer across the street handling a separate incident. He said, "one last chance. get out or I get the cops." then he looked at me and said, "You can stay." I explained that we were friends and needed to stay together. The driver did not believe this. Edwin said, "You know what, go get the police officer." The driver went over to the officer. They talked for a couple of minutes. We sat patiently in the cab.

The Police office swiftly began to walk towards us. We expected to have a chance to explain the situation to the officer. this did not happen. The officer immediately walked to my side of the car. He opened my door and yelled "Get Out Or I Will Tazer You!" I think my response to that was, "Wha no no What no no no ok ok ok get out ok". Edwin and I both exited the vehicle. The whole time the officer held the tazer up to my face. Now, I have never been tazered in the face before, and it is not on my bucket list. I think at that point I whined, "We are not resisting. We will leave." We started to walk away from the situation. As the officer began to walk away Edwin shouts, "I know my rights!"

"Excuse me" responds the officer.

"I know my rights!" repeats Edwin. "I am going to complain about this"

"Do you want to get arrested?" Asks the officer. I knew he wasn't asking me, but I responded with a "NO" just in case.

"Arrest me for what?" Enquired Edwin.

"That's IT!". At this moment the officer hauls ass towards Edwin. At this point I think I let out a girlish whimper for surrender. As Edwin was being tackled to the ground my the angry Asian-American Police Officer, two gigantic average joe white guy officers showed up.

"I am making an arrest" The Asian American officer says to them. I walked towards the two new officers in hopes to explain our way out of the arrest.

"You will walk away now!" One of them shouted at me. Then then continued to assist the Asian-American officer in pinning down a man who was in no way resisting. I walked about three steps and watched. I was determined to not let my new friend get beat up for no reason. I watched as they dragged him to the cop car and tossed him in.

I was now alone in a city that I was completely unfamiliar with at about 1:30 am. Because I am such a manly man, the first thing I decided to do was to call my wife. After I explained to her that I just witnessed the craziest thing ever, I decided that I had to do something. Once I got my bearings, I headed back to Acme. I was hoping that there were still some staff there, and they could help me out. I knew I couldn't call the cops. they were not my friends at this moment. I finally decided to call Bill Santiago. Luckily he answered. We met up at his hotel. Long story short - after about two hours of making calls to find where Edwin was being held, we found out the pertinent information. We went to the jailhouse and payed his bail. Edwin was released at about 4:30 am. When it was all said and done they charged him with three counts: Destruction of property (?), resisting arrest (apparently they did not hear him repeatedly explain that he was not resisting), and something called interfering with taxi cab process (ok - maybe he did do that). He also told me that throughout the arrest the Asian American officer kept grabbing his balls.

Edwin is currently attempting to file a complaint and get the charges dropped. I have not yet been reached to give a statement, but I can't wait. I knew it existed - but racism has never grabbed me by the collar and given me a good shake up until that night.